SO I KNOW IT’S BEEN A WHILE SINCE THE BASTARD DIED, BUT NOBODY TRULY UNDERSTANDS THE IMPACT HE HAD IN MY LIFE. I’M THAT GUY WHO WORKS LATE INTO THE NIGHT, AND BECAUSE I HAVE TINNITUS I NEED NOISE IN THE BACKGROUND TO KEEP SANE. BILLY MAYS WAS THE ONLY PERSON ON TV AT THOSE HOURS TO HELP JUST BECAUSE HIS VOICE WAS LOUD, OBNOXIOUS, AND MADE ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING SENSE. WHO THE HELL CRANKS THEIR VOICE TO 11 TO SELL SOMETHING? SHOULDN’T HE HAD TRIED BEING CALMER TO BRING THE CUSTOMERS CLOSER INSTEAD? BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE… IF YOU CALL NOW, I’LL OFFER YOU A STEEL FRYING PAN ACROSS THE HEAD. I’LL EVEN THROW IN A WAFFLE IRON TO CLAMP DOWN ON YOUR DICK TO GET THOSE HIGHLY COVETED PATTERNS THAT ALL THE LADIES LOVE. IF YOU DON’T SHUT UP, I’LL THROW YOU DOWN AND RAPE YOU; I HATE…
Oct 14 2009
The tolling bells of tinnitus drive me insane all the time
For those not familiar with tinnitus, it’s the term for ringing of the ears. If you’ve listened to loud music and hear a long, constant tone afterwards, then that’s tinnitus. It’s a bit of a blanket term used for any constant sound heard by the sufferer, and I’ve got it. I’ve got it bad. I’ve had it my entire life, and it drives me to the brink of insanity for regular weekend get-aways that I wish I could stop having. The bitch is ugly, rude, uncaring, and I’d love to end the relationship. Trying to explain silence to me is like explaining color to the blind, or an opera to the deaf, or even as simple as determining the hair color of a cancer patient who’s gone through chemotherapy and lost all their hair. Shooting birds in the dark in a country where there are few birds might be easier….