Turns out she shaved her head to raise awareness (whatever the fuck that means) and money for cancer research. That’s probably one of the few reasons that even the most stuck-up pricks would allow someone to get away with murder, but not her school over hair. Damn zealous Catholics and their Janus-like speech. Like most groups, you tend to find two subsets of Catholics, those who don’t give a shit, and those who want you to burn at the stake for not agreeing with them. Unfortunately in this rapage, we have to deal with the group of people who need to realize that there’s a world outside of their minds and it doesn’t revolve around them. Telling someone not to come back to school until their hair grows back makes as much sense as telling a marine to pull his dick out of a sailor’s ass while on shore leave. It’ll happen eventually, but accomplishes nothing.

I really wonder what the school would do to a cancer patient; tell them they can’t come back to school until their hair grows back after chemotherapy treatment? How about someone with alopecia universalis? They’d never have a chance in hell at attaining a degree because they’re as bald as you can get. This “rule” of theirs was probably instituted to combat skin-heads or some shit, and like most rules, is applied across the board and made entirely useless, becoming a joke on its own.

To the people in charge of the school who made the decision to ban the girl because of her hair, you’re not helping anybody. On the contrary, you’re making yourselves a laughing stock to the entire world. Go say seven Hail Marys and two-hundred-ninety-seven-thousand-four-hundred-eighty-two Our Fathers for penance and get back with us sane people to see what you’ve missed.

I’d be willing to wager that many who actually think their backs are being realigned believe in homeopathy too. How about healing stones while we’re at it? The general populous is full of ignorant dipshits I tell you. You can’t lick your back because your spine won’t let you. That’s just how the body works, and you can’t change it without some serious injury or force.

If you could actually realign a back through massage, then why don’t scoliosis patients have their problems treated with them? Answer me that one. They have seriously fucked up spines that twist and turn like they’re pulling off a slalom run at the winter Olympics. They are the ones who need the realignment, and the only way such a new position can be done is with big ass plates, rods, and screws to force and hold the spine into the new position. I had a friend gain something like 4-6 inches in height from such a surgery that “realigned” and straightened her spine, and there’s no way she would have had her back fixed if someone just kind of pushed her hip here, and put her shoulder there while waiting for a pop to signify everything is now in place.

So please, stop trying to say a chiropractor is fixing your back by manipulation. They’re relieving pressure in very much the same way you crack your knuckles. You get tense, tighten up, and induce unneeded pressure on the spine and its surroundings. The massage and manipulation is designed to make you relax, not move your fucking spine around. Your back isn’t a fucking slinky, and those who think it is should just throw themselves down some stairs, alone or in pairs and relieve us of their stupidity.