So I’m seeing all across the news wire that Tiger Woods crashed. Big fucking deal. What I should be seeing on the news is the Russian train that was bombed that was carrying hundreds of dignitaries, politicians, elites where many of them were killed. You know, people of importance. If Tiger died in the car wreck, sure, it would make sense to be headlining everywhere, but nothing of consequence happened.
I’m damn tired of channel surfing this weekend and just seeing Tiger after Tiger after Tiger. Aren’t tigers endangered? Where the hell have all these come from? Here’s what I’d place money on. HIS WIFE IS PREGNANT AGAIN!!! Elin probably had some crazy midnight cravings like many pregnant women have, and he was heading out to pick something up like pickles and strawberry Häagen-Dazs ice-cream. It’s 2am, and most people aren’t like me and wired at all hours. He fell asleep…
Nov 30 2009
Waking the sleeping tiger
Oct 21 2009
The pants of baseball must come off
When it comes to baseball, I’m a purist. I’m a White Sox and Cubs fan respectfully, and even though my prime team is in the American League with the designated hitter, I am wholeheartedly against it. I am a throwback baseball fan to when throwing and hitting styles were natural and not mechanical, but there’s something that bothers me so much that I can’t stand watching many games anymore. It’s the way the pants are worn, and for how silly it may sound, it doesn’t just piss me off, it makes me want to throw myself through a mirror and get out of this bizarro world entirely.
When did having pant cuffs dragging on the ground become a style that everybody followed? If I’m not mistaken, Pedro Martinez has holes put in the back of his pant cuffs so his spikes can go through. What the fuck kind of functionality does…
Oct 15 2009
For all things Pete, no Rush for the Rams
Politics aside, Rush Limbaugh shouldn’t be considered as a possible buyer for the St Louis Ram. Ok, this has everything to do with politics, and that’s the problem. Owners naturally piss off people with their decisions over a team. That’s because the fans care so deeply about the team that they hold different opinions on what should be done. The issue with Rush isn’t that he’s a polarizing political figure, it’s that he’s so damn polarizing that it would push away people from attending Rams games.
I don’t know if I’ve ever witnessed someone as openly bigoted as he is and gets away with it. Ok, Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly perhaps, but they’re all on the same page. On the flip-side you’ve got Bill Maher and… who’s that greedy fat fuck that has issues with guns again? Oh yeah, Michael Moore. Each of these people is so far outside the…
Oct 13 2009
Triathletes
If there is a single group of people on this planet that I can live completely without, it has to be triathletes. No group is more self-centered, egotistical, and just overall dipshits to everyone else than them. I know my fair share of athletes, and it’s unanimous across the board that nobody, not even the pretty-boy cyclists, want to deal with them for even a fucking minute.
The issues run deeper than just confidence in their skills. You get overly arrogant asses playing team sports like football and soccer. You get the prima donnas of baseball, and the stuck-up holier than though tennis players. It’s rare that you find an elite athlete that’s honestly humble, but it’s even rarer to find a triathlete that’s not a fucking dipshit in general. It may stem from them trying to be well-rounded and compete in three tough disciplines, but in all honesty, I think…
Oct 12 2009
Striped socks in football
I watched the Denver Broncos play against the New England Patriots over the weekend, and both teams were wearing their AFL retro uniforms. I’ve read, heard, and seen about how people hated how the throwback Broncos jerseys looked. I on the other hand liked the look, purely classic appearance. Football isn’t a fashion show, and no matter how many queer eyes look at the game in horror, it’s still a game played in the mud. What I did have a problem with were the socks.
I’m in the same boat as many of the critics. I hated the way the throwback uniform socks looked, but not because of the color scheme or that they were vertical. I hated the look because they were striped, regardless of direction. I look at football uniforms in the same light as baseball, and anything below the knee being multi-colored is just annoying.
Vertical stripes create a…
Oct 11 2009
Bobby Bowden pusher-outers
To the numbnuts at FSU who are pushing for Bobby Bowden to step down and retire. Just have that Seminole guy on that horse that throws the spear before every home game run you over the next time you have a thought. I don’t know who you are, nor do I give two wipes of two-ply about what you think. You must understand one thing; you mean nothing to that university while Bowden means everything. The school would still be unknown, or at the best on par with Troy if he hadn’t shown up.
Prior to the post of head coach being filled by Bobby Bowden in 1976, there was practically nothing there for the university. Believe me when I say that nearly nobody wants to live in Tallahassee when there are some very nice places just to the west and on the beach. What was there was an all-female teaching…