What someone does in the privacy of their home or on their own time is their own damn business. I’m seeing all over the magazines and news channels about David Letterman having affairs with all sorts of women who used to work for him. Healthy relationships can arise from boss and subordinate relationships, so chill the fuck off already. David Letterman had sex, big whoop, wanna fight about it? What’s the real news on this story? Anyone care to wager a guess or six? It’s that some asshat tried to blackmail Letterman because he knew about the relationships. Blackmail, extortion, whatever you care to call it it’s still a first-rate crime. This is a clear example of the risk celebrities put themselves in just to do a job. In Letterman’s case, he’s a very low-profile person, so it makes it even harsher that someone would pull such a stunt on…
Oct 16 2009
A diet for Firefox… please
Oh, Firefox. I remember way back when you were light and fluffy. I remember when you were the new kid in town and were a blast to play with. You could run around all day and never seem to tire. What happened? You just sat your fat ass down on the couch and ate candy for years and years. You’re fat, bloated, and slow. You now resemble World of Warcraft players. Shame on you for letting yourself go like that. Now when I’m working, I’m forced to use you because you have the right tools, but you make it painful to work very long. You need a diet, and you need some exercise. Move it fatso! Why can’t Mozilla get its act together and fix the memory bloat that Firefox suffers? It’s been years and years of complaining. Sure, it’s open source and I could dive in if I wanted…
Oct 16 2009
Nick can’t make up their mind… or can they?
I was going to go on a huge rant about how Nickelodeon went to crap over the years, but after a little searching of their schedule, they’re back to where they originally were…kind of. Not as bad as some networks, but not… ok, they’re nowhere near as bad as most television stations. I’ve had my eye on Nickelodeon for years in disgust at how they completely castrated their image, and they seem to have been doing damage control lately in a feeble attempt at resurrecting the classic Nick they once were. Valiant effort guys, but I think you shot yourself a little higher than the foot to really do away with the bad. I grew up in the early days of Nickelodeon, before Nick at Nite, before Nick Jr, before whatever other stations or blocks they’ve come out with since. I saw the introduction of Nick at Nite, and the…
Oct 15 2009
I don’t want actors in my cartoons
Cartoon Network. I want you guys at scheduling to get a big, barky tree branch and wrap it with barbed wire and slowly wipe your own asses with it. What the fuck are you guys doing with the network? You originally set out to be the Nickelodeon of the 1980s and early 90s when they went south. Now you guys have turned into the bad Nick while they got better. You guys have “Cartoon” in your fucking title. What the fuck is this “CN Real” shit I’m seeing? Cartoon… not Nick; cartoon damn it! Let’s review what a cartoon is. A cartoon is a drawing, still or animated. It’s that simple really. Cartoon doesn’t mean having a trivia show for kids on a roller coaster. It’s not having a live-action series based on a book. I’ve even seen live-action movies on the station, and that’s in addition to shoe-ins like…
Oct 15 2009
Let the truckers smoke
So I heard a story of a truck driver getting fined for smoking in his own cab because he was “smoking in an enclosed work environment”. It’s illegal, in Canada, to smoke in such places, and this is most definitely one of those very vague areas of the law that I can easily see both sides on. I’ll throw in my two cents on the issue. This can be taken two ways, and I think the entire situation is a shit-storm in the making. I can’t stand being in a smoker’s car. I can’t stand walking through a designated smoking area. I just don’t like the smoke, and I don’t think that if I’m in a typical area that I should have to breathe in their mess. I also don’t think they should be kept from smoking. I don’t think they should be banned from smoking in their own residences…
Oct 15 2009
For all things Pete, no Rush for the Rams
Politics aside, Rush Limbaugh shouldn’t be considered as a possible buyer for the St Louis Ram. Ok, this has everything to do with politics, and that’s the problem. Owners naturally piss off people with their decisions over a team. That’s because the fans care so deeply about the team that they hold different opinions on what should be done. The issue with Rush isn’t that he’s a polarizing political figure, it’s that he’s so damn polarizing that it would push away people from attending Rams games. I don’t know if I’ve ever witnessed someone as openly bigoted as he is and gets away with it. Ok, Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly perhaps, but they’re all on the same page. On the flip-side you’ve got Bill Maher and… who’s that greedy fat fuck that has issues with guns again? Oh yeah, Michael Moore. Each of these people is so far outside…
Oct 14 2009
I want my cane sugar in my drinks
I’m not some crazy nut about to go off on food and beverage companies for using high-fructose corn syrup as their primary sweetener to drive down costs because it’s “unnatural”. It’s a business decision, and a highly profitable move at that. It’s the reason for the whole “New Coke” fiasco from the 1980s. I am going off on them for trying to tell me that it tastes the same as cane sugar. To borrow an expression I’ve found from across the pond, bollocks! You fucking food and drink guys should go suck an egg for trying to force feed me the crap about there being no difference. I know the difference, I’ve tasted the difference, and y’all are full of shit. If I like cane sugar in my drinks like they used to be, give me that option. I’d like to order something from the manufacturer once in a while…
Oct 14 2009
The tolling bells of tinnitus drive me insane all the time
For those not familiar with tinnitus, it’s the term for ringing of the ears. If you’ve listened to loud music and hear a long, constant tone afterwards, then that’s tinnitus. It’s a bit of a blanket term used for any constant sound heard by the sufferer, and I’ve got it. I’ve got it bad. I’ve had it my entire life, and it drives me to the brink of insanity for regular weekend get-aways that I wish I could stop having. The bitch is ugly, rude, uncaring, and I’d love to end the relationship. Trying to explain silence to me is like explaining color to the blind, or an opera to the deaf, or even as simple as determining the hair color of a cancer patient who’s gone through chemotherapy and lost all their hair. Shooting birds in the dark in a country where there are few birds might be easier….
Oct 14 2009
Smelly sprays to mask smells
You know those sprays people buy to mask the orders left when they take a shit? They’re worse than the shit, and I mean way worse. I was, for the most part, indifferent about the usage of such sprays until I worked with someone who would flood the restroom with the foul stench every time they took a shit. They’d walk by me afterwards, and the cloud of toxic fumes would engulf me and chock my lungs until I’m crawling on the ground pleading for a gas mask from the BDSM coworker on the other side of the room. I’d always feel like I’d prefer the gas chamber to such foul stenches, then I thought about it a little. There’s nothing different twixt a gas chamber and the suffering I was being put through. Perhaps the difference was I was suffering instead of dying. Why can’t the fucking manufacturing companies…
Oct 13 2009
Triathletes
If there is a single group of people on this planet that I can live completely without, it has to be triathletes. No group is more self-centered, egotistical, and just overall dipshits to everyone else than them. I know my fair share of athletes, and it’s unanimous across the board that nobody, not even the pretty-boy cyclists, want to deal with them for even a fucking minute. The issues run deeper than just confidence in their skills. You get overly arrogant asses playing team sports like football and soccer. You get the prima donnas of baseball, and the stuck-up holier than though tennis players. It’s rare that you find an elite athlete that’s honestly humble, but it’s even rarer to find a triathlete that’s not a fucking dipshit in general. It may stem from them trying to be well-rounded and compete in three tough disciplines, but in all honesty, I…
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