Mad Beach Bum

I’m sick and tired of hearing people going to their chiropractor to get their back “realigned”. You’re not honing an edge on a knife. You’re not untwisting a clothes hanger. You’re not doing rock star movement #4. You can’t just realign a spine by pushing and pulling; you need surgery to do such a thing.

I’d be willing to wager that many who actually think their backs are being realigned believe in homeopathy too. How about healing stones while we’re at it? The general populous is full of ignorant dipshits I tell you. You can’t lick your back because your spine won’t let you. That’s just how the body works, and you can’t change it without some serious injury or force.

If you could actually realign a back through massage, then why don’t scoliosis patients have their problems treated with them? Answer me that one. They have seriously fucked up spines that twist and turn like they’re pulling off a slalom run at the winter Olympics. They are the ones who need the realignment, and the only way such a new position can be done is with big ass plates, rods, and screws to force and hold the spine into the new position. I had a friend gain something like 4-6 inches in height from such a surgery that “realigned” and straightened her spine, and there’s no way she would have had her back fixed if someone just kind of pushed her hip here, and put her shoulder there while waiting for a pop to signify everything is now in place.

So please, stop trying to say a chiropractor is fixing your back by manipulation. They’re relieving pressure in very much the same way you crack your knuckles. You get tense, tighten up, and induce unneeded pressure on the spine and its surroundings. The massage and manipulation is designed to make you relax, not move your fucking spine around. Your back isn’t a fucking slinky, and those who think it is should just throw themselves down some stairs, alone or in pairs and relieve us of their stupidity.

Minified Link: http://madbeachbum.com/c430

Tags: Spine, Stupidity