If there is one word in the entire scope of the English language and off the variants, off-shoots, creoles, slang, and just gibberish that I loath above all else, a single word in the over a billion words in the language, it’s the word cute. No word is as frivolous, and without meaning. I have asked many people, primarily females since they are by far more likely to use it, what their definition of it is. Most say adorable and I must interject that a real definition extends beyond only using a synonym. They look dumbfounded and say it can’t be done. Here in lies my point.
I have received definitions for this word as if some schizophrenic decided to play Jeopardy! one day and crossed it with Scrabble and just shot craps loaded on LSD.
“Something I want to eat.”
“Something that reminds me of a baby.”
“Something that I find attractive.”
“Something not entirely embarrassing, but kind of.”
Seriously? None of these make sense when considering all are used interchangeably, and the definition of what the speaker is trying to say is left completely up to the imagination.
Looking in the Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary that I have lying around from my school days, the definition is in three parts. The first is “clever or shrewd often in an underhanded manner”. Huh? I don’t think a kitten falling off a sofa because it was stupid enough to jump for a laser pointed on a wall is considered clever, but that’s the only action I can assume that comes close to this definition.
The second is “impertinent, smart-alecky”. This is the single definition I’ve found that explains a single usage. “Don’t get cute with me” is what this definition explains. It’s a turned phrase, not really a true usage of the word, and defining it requires more synonyms than desired.
The final is “obviously straining for effect”. Ok, they just gave up on the word now. Are they trying to explain away Jack Black’s annoying red-carpet persona as “cute”? The authors of this book just got to the word, looked at each other, threw some word cards into the air and wrote down which ever ones came closest to the split-pea soup they were eating. Oh, and the cards had to be facing right-side-up for them to count or they’d have included a definition that explained attractiveness.
I am completely baffled why a word that so closely resembles the word cunt is almost viewed as the polar opposite. Cunt sounds bad; it’s sharp and harsh. Sorry to break it to everybody, but cute is exactly the same kind of word with an ‘oo’ instead of ‘uh’ sound. Cunt is harsh, yet pussy is smooth and sweet. Cute is also sharp and harsh, yet it’s not uncommon to say “cute pussy”. Some linguistic professor somewhere has probably written a thesis on this oddity of the English language. If they haven’t, then I’d like to apply for my doctorate using said thesis.
Please, I beg you, stop using the word cute. It lacks all meaning, and no matter what you use it for, nobody save a doppelganger really understands what you’re saying with it. They just nod their head in agreement, or openly disagree by erroneously stating the very definition of what you thought you were using cute for. Don’t confuse me anymore. Don’t use it unless you’re a girl trying to describe me in a positive manner. Even then I have to ask, “Is that a really good thing, or just a friend thing?”